Way back in ancient internet history, aka 2005, there was a chat bot called God. It was sort of an early meme, and message board filled up with the hilarious and sometimes poignant conversations. It's slightly wrong and nowhere near theologically sound, but it sure is funny. While decluttering my computer I found my own chat transcript. Here was my conversation with "God" circa 2005...
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Goals for 2013
A few days ago, I took a look back at my goals for 2012. Some of them worked, some of them didn't. This was a rocky year, so I'm proud I accomplished much of anything. According to my fellow woo-woo folks out there, though, 2013 is supposed to be a banner year for us Virgos, so I'm holding out hope and making plans. Here are some of them.
(1) Get rid of the objects in my life that I don't use or that don't enhance my life and
(2) Read books that challenge me or make me a better person:
Both of these are amended version of last year's goals without a number quantifying them. For both of these, rather than giving me a goal to strive for, a number gave me an excuse to stop. "This is close enough to a third. Eh."
(3) Commit to playing a show or an open mic night at least once a month
(4) Record an EP
(5) Learn to sing properly
(6) Learn to play ukulele
I've decided to make a dedicate effort to take music more seriously. I've found that while it's good to have a variety of interests, being a jack-of-all-trades doesn't get you very far. It's a good conversation starter, but that's about it. I've got solid steps to take to get these goals off the ground (except for the uke, but I'm in the process of mapping that out). Music is what gets me out of bed in the morning and keeps my blood pumping. It's the one thing I feel most at ease creating.
(7) Support the scene
Huntington's DIY scene is now thriving thanks to the efforts of a few committed individuals. I could've tied this in with the other music goals, but this doesn't just benefit me, it benefits everyone. There's no scene if you're playing to an empty room. So in 2013, I'm going to get the word out about local events and commit to at least one a month that I'm not a part of.
(8) Create an Etsy store (or some other online store)
One of the Bandit household's goals in general is to monetize our art in 2013. This past year I've rekindled my love of making things and had success selling used books and DVDs online. In 2013, I want to combine those two skill sets, as making money from something you've made by hand is the world's raddest feeling.
(9) install Linux on one of my computers
I'm interested in coding and had enough virus scares on my computers to become completely disgusted by Windows. Not sure if the breaking point was when I learned Ubuntu didn't take a master's degree to understand or when I thought somebody had remote control over my PC. I'm going to start with my laptop and play around until I feel comfortable with the OS. I'm being fitted for a neckbeard next week.
(10) Be a better friend
Now, this as it's worded is one of those trap goals with no specific end point, so I don't know how to achieve it. But truth is, I'm a crappy friend. I'm unreliable and kind of a hermit. I need to fix this, and I'm going to try my darndest.
(1) Get rid of the objects in my life that I don't use or that don't enhance my life and
(2) Read books that challenge me or make me a better person:
Both of these are amended version of last year's goals without a number quantifying them. For both of these, rather than giving me a goal to strive for, a number gave me an excuse to stop. "This is close enough to a third. Eh."
(3) Commit to playing a show or an open mic night at least once a month
(4) Record an EP
(5) Learn to sing properly
(6) Learn to play ukulele
I've decided to make a dedicate effort to take music more seriously. I've found that while it's good to have a variety of interests, being a jack-of-all-trades doesn't get you very far. It's a good conversation starter, but that's about it. I've got solid steps to take to get these goals off the ground (except for the uke, but I'm in the process of mapping that out). Music is what gets me out of bed in the morning and keeps my blood pumping. It's the one thing I feel most at ease creating.
(7) Support the scene
Huntington's DIY scene is now thriving thanks to the efforts of a few committed individuals. I could've tied this in with the other music goals, but this doesn't just benefit me, it benefits everyone. There's no scene if you're playing to an empty room. So in 2013, I'm going to get the word out about local events and commit to at least one a month that I'm not a part of.
(8) Create an Etsy store (or some other online store)
One of the Bandit household's goals in general is to monetize our art in 2013. This past year I've rekindled my love of making things and had success selling used books and DVDs online. In 2013, I want to combine those two skill sets, as making money from something you've made by hand is the world's raddest feeling.
(9) install Linux on one of my computers
I'm interested in coding and had enough virus scares on my computers to become completely disgusted by Windows. Not sure if the breaking point was when I learned Ubuntu didn't take a master's degree to understand or when I thought somebody had remote control over my PC. I'm going to start with my laptop and play around until I feel comfortable with the OS. I'm being fitted for a neckbeard next week.
(10) Be a better friend
Now, this as it's worded is one of those trap goals with no specific end point, so I don't know how to achieve it. But truth is, I'm a crappy friend. I'm unreliable and kind of a hermit. I need to fix this, and I'm going to try my darndest.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Reflecting on 2012's goals
Since Christmas is over (except for the Episcopalian and Orthodox folks out there - holla!), it's now time for the obligatory New Year posts. First thing I want to do is revisit my goals for 2012. There were some that sort of fell by the wayside, so let's leave those off. I want to go over my not-on-the-fence successes and failures.
Goal one was "prioritize my health." I actually did well with this. I learned what my trigger foods, times, and situations were and have felt much better physically. I still haven't gotten into a habitual exercise routine, but that's changing soon. My mental health took a real dive and I went through a lengthy depressive episode, but I actually learned to take care of myself. I consider that a success.
Another goal was "prioritize my art." I really hate it when people use "everything happens for a reason" with health or death, but I do think that God used my depression to get me back in touch with music and clear my vision as to what I'm supposed to do with my life. I don't think this would have happened if I hadn't felt like complete crap.
"Learn to play guitar" was my big failure, and I'm okay with that. I've toyed with guitar off and on since I was a wee teen, but this year was the first year I actually tried hard. And I bombed. It kicked in when my friend Dane said, "Wow, you're not good at guitar." I already knew this, but there's nothing like hearing it from an impartial party. Later that night, I audibly said, "Maybe this guitar thing just isn't for me." The E string promptly snaps and sliced my thumb. As blood shot out like a Troma movie, I sat there and again audibly said, "Yep. That's a sign." Seriously, though, I have tiny hands, and my fingers could barely reach the frets. Not to mention piano is a much different skill set. This year I'm giving ukulele a go, which seems much more suited to me.
"Cut my possessions by a third." I have no idea how to quantify this, since I didn't keep track of how much stuff I got rid of. I feel content with what I did, but I also have a long way to go. So... success, but this'll be a repeater.
Probably the goal I had the most success with was "read 10 books that challenge me." Not only did it get me back in the habit of becoming a regular reader, but I also found a handful of books that changed my perspective. And I wasn't easy on myself. I kicked off the year with "Walden" (challenging vocabulary) and ended with "An Atheist's Guide to Christmas" (challenging philosophy). While I didn't agree with or like everything I read, I actually walked away with a few new favorites. And while volume wasn't a goal, I ended up reading 11 more books than I did in 2011!
In the next few days, I'll share some of my fond memories of 2012 and talk about my goals for next year.
Goal one was "prioritize my health." I actually did well with this. I learned what my trigger foods, times, and situations were and have felt much better physically. I still haven't gotten into a habitual exercise routine, but that's changing soon. My mental health took a real dive and I went through a lengthy depressive episode, but I actually learned to take care of myself. I consider that a success.
Another goal was "prioritize my art." I really hate it when people use "everything happens for a reason" with health or death, but I do think that God used my depression to get me back in touch with music and clear my vision as to what I'm supposed to do with my life. I don't think this would have happened if I hadn't felt like complete crap.
"Learn to play guitar" was my big failure, and I'm okay with that. I've toyed with guitar off and on since I was a wee teen, but this year was the first year I actually tried hard. And I bombed. It kicked in when my friend Dane said, "Wow, you're not good at guitar." I already knew this, but there's nothing like hearing it from an impartial party. Later that night, I audibly said, "Maybe this guitar thing just isn't for me." The E string promptly snaps and sliced my thumb. As blood shot out like a Troma movie, I sat there and again audibly said, "Yep. That's a sign." Seriously, though, I have tiny hands, and my fingers could barely reach the frets. Not to mention piano is a much different skill set. This year I'm giving ukulele a go, which seems much more suited to me.
"Cut my possessions by a third." I have no idea how to quantify this, since I didn't keep track of how much stuff I got rid of. I feel content with what I did, but I also have a long way to go. So... success, but this'll be a repeater.
Probably the goal I had the most success with was "read 10 books that challenge me." Not only did it get me back in the habit of becoming a regular reader, but I also found a handful of books that changed my perspective. And I wasn't easy on myself. I kicked off the year with "Walden" (challenging vocabulary) and ended with "An Atheist's Guide to Christmas" (challenging philosophy). While I didn't agree with or like everything I read, I actually walked away with a few new favorites. And while volume wasn't a goal, I ended up reading 11 more books than I did in 2011!
In the next few days, I'll share some of my fond memories of 2012 and talk about my goals for next year.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Sandy Hook
I've been debating writing anything about the horrific events of Sandy Hook. What could I say that hasn't been said already? What more could I add to this online echo chamber that would make any sense of this horrible, horrible day? I don't know. I don't think there is any making sense, it's just sad all around.
One thing that needs to be said loudly, though. Once the media suspected that the killer was on the autism spectrum, there were all sorts of sensational headlines that coupled Asperger's with a natural inclination toward violence and anger. Not to mince words: this is bullshit. This is dangerous journalism and is already resulting in harm and harassment to people on the autism spectrum all over the country. Neither autism nor mental illness makes people violent; in fact, they're four times more likely to be the victims of violent crimes than neurotypical folks.
There are other troubling aspects of the journalism surrounding this event. While it's certainly a story that deserves coverage, the killer has almost become a celebrity. His picture and name are plastered everywhere with voyeuristic minute-by-minute accounts of the attack. If you can spare three minutes and can access Youtube, please watch this video from the BBC to understand why this is irresponsible.
It sickens me, fills me with rage, to see the 24-hour cable outlets close up on the faces of hurting and crying children. This isn't journalism, this is torture porn. This is feeding sickness. This is lining the pockets of ghouls with ill-gotten advertising dollars. The day I decided I was never going to work in television news (and essentially making my degree a fancy paperweight) was the day I saw local coverage of a house fire as a camera slowly zoomed into the closeup of an eight year old boy, crying so hard that he couldn't catch his breath.
Meanwhile, the memories of the brave teachers and school staff who died defending their children - Rachel D'Avino, Dawn Hochsprung, Anne Marie Murphy, Lauren Rousseau, Mary Sherlach, and Victoria Soto - have mostly been spread through grassroots efforts and Facebook memes. In a year where teachers have been vilified, remembering them is even more poignant and important.
Any time I see the faces of this children who died far too early, I see the faces of the children I teach each Sunday. I pray for the families and communities affected by this tragedy. I pray for the Lanza family. I pray for an end to the culture that creates and even encourages this violence to flourish.
But I can't just pray. I can't be, to steal a quote, so heavenly minded that I'm no earthly good. I also have to act: I have to proactively reach out to trouble kids, to get the help they may need and to fill their hearts and minds with positive and productive lives so that there's no place for violence to blossom. I have to create a world where my kids church kids and all other kids feel safe. I have to, and so do you. Let's imagine what an entirely new world and new way of life looks like, and then let's figure out the first step we should take to get there.
One thing that needs to be said loudly, though. Once the media suspected that the killer was on the autism spectrum, there were all sorts of sensational headlines that coupled Asperger's with a natural inclination toward violence and anger. Not to mince words: this is bullshit. This is dangerous journalism and is already resulting in harm and harassment to people on the autism spectrum all over the country. Neither autism nor mental illness makes people violent; in fact, they're four times more likely to be the victims of violent crimes than neurotypical folks.
There are other troubling aspects of the journalism surrounding this event. While it's certainly a story that deserves coverage, the killer has almost become a celebrity. His picture and name are plastered everywhere with voyeuristic minute-by-minute accounts of the attack. If you can spare three minutes and can access Youtube, please watch this video from the BBC to understand why this is irresponsible.
It sickens me, fills me with rage, to see the 24-hour cable outlets close up on the faces of hurting and crying children. This isn't journalism, this is torture porn. This is feeding sickness. This is lining the pockets of ghouls with ill-gotten advertising dollars. The day I decided I was never going to work in television news (and essentially making my degree a fancy paperweight) was the day I saw local coverage of a house fire as a camera slowly zoomed into the closeup of an eight year old boy, crying so hard that he couldn't catch his breath.
Meanwhile, the memories of the brave teachers and school staff who died defending their children - Rachel D'Avino, Dawn Hochsprung, Anne Marie Murphy, Lauren Rousseau, Mary Sherlach, and Victoria Soto - have mostly been spread through grassroots efforts and Facebook memes. In a year where teachers have been vilified, remembering them is even more poignant and important.
Any time I see the faces of this children who died far too early, I see the faces of the children I teach each Sunday. I pray for the families and communities affected by this tragedy. I pray for the Lanza family. I pray for an end to the culture that creates and even encourages this violence to flourish.
But I can't just pray. I can't be, to steal a quote, so heavenly minded that I'm no earthly good. I also have to act: I have to proactively reach out to trouble kids, to get the help they may need and to fill their hearts and minds with positive and productive lives so that there's no place for violence to blossom. I have to create a world where my kids church kids and all other kids feel safe. I have to, and so do you. Let's imagine what an entirely new world and new way of life looks like, and then let's figure out the first step we should take to get there.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Forgiving Nathaniel Hawthorne
Recently I ran into the same idea put out by two different people I admire. One was in a book, one was through the internet, and I doubt the two even know the other exists. At any rate, both threw into the cosmos the idea of rereading books you hated earlier in life. It's possible that you weren't ready for the book, or you didn't have the life experience to "get it," or even that you were just in a crappy spot in your life that would make anything unenjoyable.
One of my goals this year was to read more challenging books. My first one was Walden by Thoreau, which I finished late winter. It's a book that I got behind in sentiment (in a major way) but had a lot of trouble with the vocabulary. It took a good few months to finish, but I'm glad I did. Since then, I hadn't really challenged myself reading-wise. Since the cosmos keep hammering in the idea of revisiting books you hated, I decided to take the plunge and reread a book that was the bane of my existence in high school: The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne.
My middle school years ruined reading for me. I've detailed why that happened in a Booster Pack blog last year. By the time I got to high school, I was well versed in skimming, cheating, and doing everything but loving books. Thus Nathaniel Hawthorne was the representation of everything I hated: he used big words, took pages to describe a scene, and had lots of symbolism that my English teacher said could only stand for One Thing. My best friend and I often discussed just what we'd do to Nathaniel Hawthorne if we only had a time machine and actually saved up money for a few months to take a trip to "piss on Nathaniel Hawthorne's grave." That's how bad it got.
So, I'm biting the bullet. I'm not quite through the introduction, but I'm already picking up on things I missed on the first pass. For starters, nobody seems to mention how much of a smart-ass Hawthorne is. He has a dry, smarmy way of describing people that totally went over my head the first time I read it. I also remember, even in high school, really liking his short stories "Young Goodman Brown" and "The Minister's Black Veil."
Of course, I may get beyond today and figure out, "Okay, still hate this book." Although I see the value in it (at least in theory) now, I still get a little turned off by these lengthy setting descriptions. This is one of the reasons I'm also not a huge fan of Ang Lee, so it may be a deal breaker. Re-reading it is still worth a shot, though. If anything, it will rekindle my loathing, and when I visit Walden Pond in the next year or so, I can have the motivation to swing by Poet's Hollow and fulfill that promise I made to my BFF in English 11.
One of my goals this year was to read more challenging books. My first one was Walden by Thoreau, which I finished late winter. It's a book that I got behind in sentiment (in a major way) but had a lot of trouble with the vocabulary. It took a good few months to finish, but I'm glad I did. Since then, I hadn't really challenged myself reading-wise. Since the cosmos keep hammering in the idea of revisiting books you hated, I decided to take the plunge and reread a book that was the bane of my existence in high school: The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne.
My middle school years ruined reading for me. I've detailed why that happened in a Booster Pack blog last year. By the time I got to high school, I was well versed in skimming, cheating, and doing everything but loving books. Thus Nathaniel Hawthorne was the representation of everything I hated: he used big words, took pages to describe a scene, and had lots of symbolism that my English teacher said could only stand for One Thing. My best friend and I often discussed just what we'd do to Nathaniel Hawthorne if we only had a time machine and actually saved up money for a few months to take a trip to "piss on Nathaniel Hawthorne's grave." That's how bad it got.
So, I'm biting the bullet. I'm not quite through the introduction, but I'm already picking up on things I missed on the first pass. For starters, nobody seems to mention how much of a smart-ass Hawthorne is. He has a dry, smarmy way of describing people that totally went over my head the first time I read it. I also remember, even in high school, really liking his short stories "Young Goodman Brown" and "The Minister's Black Veil."
Of course, I may get beyond today and figure out, "Okay, still hate this book." Although I see the value in it (at least in theory) now, I still get a little turned off by these lengthy setting descriptions. This is one of the reasons I'm also not a huge fan of Ang Lee, so it may be a deal breaker. Re-reading it is still worth a shot, though. If anything, it will rekindle my loathing, and when I visit Walden Pond in the next year or so, I can have the motivation to swing by Poet's Hollow and fulfill that promise I made to my BFF in English 11.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Can I direct the next Batman?
Dear archleaders of DC Comics and Hollywood bigwigs,
Hello. My name is Molly Bandit. I am an indie filmmaker in West Virginia, and I would like to nominate myself as the director for the next Batman series. No. Really. Hear me out.
Rumor has it that a new Batman series is going to be released in 2016. We only know a few things:
Comic book movies are way too dark nowadays, both thematically and aesthetically (I mean, jeez, do you guys have any colorblind people in your cinematography staff? All those dark greens and dark reds and browns kind of blend together in an amorphous, yelling blob.) It was cool with Batman Begins and the Dark Knight. Now that even Superman has some kind of existential angst, the shtick is getting old.
If we continue at this rate, by 2016 the Batman universe is going to be so dark that the film will just be Clint Eastwood growling into a vocorder while murdering kittens as Leonard Cohen plays in the background.
People want campy Batman. And by people, I mean me. I miss the 60s show. I miss the Batusi. I miss villains that don't kill people. I miss that theme song.
I even have a proposed cast for you!
Sincerely,
Molly Bandit
Hello. My name is Molly Bandit. I am an indie filmmaker in West Virginia, and I would like to nominate myself as the director for the next Batman series. No. Really. Hear me out.
Rumor has it that a new Batman series is going to be released in 2016. We only know a few things:
- it's not an origin story
- Chris Nolan won't be directing it
- it's tentatively called The Batman
Comic book movies are way too dark nowadays, both thematically and aesthetically (I mean, jeez, do you guys have any colorblind people in your cinematography staff? All those dark greens and dark reds and browns kind of blend together in an amorphous, yelling blob.) It was cool with Batman Begins and the Dark Knight. Now that even Superman has some kind of existential angst, the shtick is getting old.
If we continue at this rate, by 2016 the Batman universe is going to be so dark that the film will just be Clint Eastwood growling into a vocorder while murdering kittens as Leonard Cohen plays in the background.
People want campy Batman. And by people, I mean me. I miss the 60s show. I miss the Batusi. I miss villains that don't kill people. I miss that theme song.
I even have a proposed cast for you!
- Batman - David Tennant
- Robin - Donald Glover
- The Riddler - TV's Frank
- The Joker - Dave Grohl
- The Penguin - John Waters
- Catwoman - Zooey Deschannel
- Commissioner Gordon - Will Forte
Sincerely,
Molly Bandit
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Alphabet of Favorites: T - Z
My new WV blogging buddy Kristy had a post on her blog listing a favorite thing for each letter of the alphabet. I totally wanted to steal the idea, but since I'm so long-winded (erm, long-typing?), I decided to break mine up. Here's the last entry, T - Z.
This Years Model - I had to fit Elvis Costello in somehow! Elvis Costello is my musical boyfriend, and this is one of my top ten favorite albums. I discovered it in my fragile teen years, and it reshaped how I thought about music.
Underground - Yeah, this is the part of the alphabet that you start grasping at straws. But one of my favorite DVDs is the Ben Folds Five performance on Sessions at West 54th, and my favorite part of the DVD is the incredibly enthusiastic roadie in the background during "Underground." He does a freaking backflip!
Veggies - I go through meat obsession phases - the time span when Mr. Bandit and I were obsessed with the show Barbeque Pit Masters comes to mind - but really I can take or leave meat. I wasn't always, but I'm a huge fan of veggies. My favorites are squash, carrots, snap peas, kale, green peppers, sweet potatoes, and okra.
Weetzie Bat - As I mentioned previously, the Weetzie Bat series Dangerous Angels was a big, big influence on my life growing up. It helped shape the way I think about people, my fashion, and my art aesthetic. I try to reread it once a year.
X-ray Specs - I love 70s punk, and this band is one of my favorites. They only released one album and a single, but they were a huge influence on poli-punk and riot grrl. (I could have also included the band X for similar reasons.) Plus, frontwoman Poly Styrene had a very rad sense of style!
Yahtzee - I love board games of all sorts, but I have warm fuzzy family memories of this one. Yahtzee and Uno are my jamz.
Zebra Print - What can I say? I'm a classy broad.
A-G | H-M | N-S | T-Z
This Years Model - I had to fit Elvis Costello in somehow! Elvis Costello is my musical boyfriend, and this is one of my top ten favorite albums. I discovered it in my fragile teen years, and it reshaped how I thought about music.
Underground - Yeah, this is the part of the alphabet that you start grasping at straws. But one of my favorite DVDs is the Ben Folds Five performance on Sessions at West 54th, and my favorite part of the DVD is the incredibly enthusiastic roadie in the background during "Underground." He does a freaking backflip!
Veggies - I go through meat obsession phases - the time span when Mr. Bandit and I were obsessed with the show Barbeque Pit Masters comes to mind - but really I can take or leave meat. I wasn't always, but I'm a huge fan of veggies. My favorites are squash, carrots, snap peas, kale, green peppers, sweet potatoes, and okra.
Weetzie Bat - As I mentioned previously, the Weetzie Bat series Dangerous Angels was a big, big influence on my life growing up. It helped shape the way I think about people, my fashion, and my art aesthetic. I try to reread it once a year.
X-ray Specs - I love 70s punk, and this band is one of my favorites. They only released one album and a single, but they were a huge influence on poli-punk and riot grrl. (I could have also included the band X for similar reasons.) Plus, frontwoman Poly Styrene had a very rad sense of style!
Yahtzee - I love board games of all sorts, but I have warm fuzzy family memories of this one. Yahtzee and Uno are my jamz.
Zebra Print - What can I say? I'm a classy broad.
A-G | H-M | N-S | T-Z
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